We all desire to be successful in our lives, and if we aren’t careful, we can admire some traits from the ‘rich & the famous’ that will backfire on our journey toward success.
When I first started teaching, I wanted my kids to love learning, do their best, and have a passion for a better life (emotionally, socially, financially, etc). Unfortunately, the curriculum did not have ‘the how-to do this’ in the books. I relied on co-workers and my family to share the ‘secret’ and they did!!! After several years, I did not have a blueprint for this ‘goal’ but as I think about the styles of learning/teaching, I will give you some ideas that were incorporated: One thing, I did and do realize is that children need to feel safe, loved and have structure, but they also need autonomy, competence, and agencies to flourish. Some skills kids (and all of us) need are to boost mental toughness, resilience, social competence, self-awareness, and moral strength. These are what
separate successful young/old kids who shine from those who struggle.
1. SELF-CONFIDENCE__Most parents equate self-esteem with self-confidence. They tell their kids, “You’re special” or “You can be anything you want.” Real self-confidence is an outcome of doing well, facing obstacles, creating solutions, and snapping back on your own. Fixing your kid’s problems or doing their tasks for them makes them think: “They don’t believe I can.” Guess what? kids who have self-assuredness know they can fail but also rebound, and that’s why we must unleash ourselves from hovering, snowplowing, and rescuing!!!!!
2. EMPATHY__defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another; kids NEED an emotional vocabulary to develop this trait, such as:
>>>>Label emotions (“You’re happy, you seem upset”)
>>>>Ask questions (“How did that make you feel?” “You seem scared, am I right?” Help your child recognize that all feelings are normal and how we choose to express them is what can get us in trouble!
>>>>Notice others (point out people’s faces and body language –“How do you think that man feels?” “Have you ever felt like that?”
3. SELF-CONTROL__One way to teach this is to give signals (teachers use “attention signals” like ringing a bell or verbal cues: “Pencils down, eyes up.” [Please don’t use this as a parent, lol}. I prefer a gentle saying, “I need your attention in one minute…ready to listen?” Another technique is to use stress pauses. Slowing down gets them time to think.
{“If you’re mad, count to 10 before you answer.” “When in doubt, Stop_ think, cool off.” “Don’t say anything you wouldn’t want said about you.” (Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.)
These are some of my favorite ‘success journey quotes you may know and refer to:
Patience, persistence, and perspirations make an unbeatable combination for success.” (Napoleon Hill)
“The end of a journey means the start of another one.”(Anonymous)
“There is only one map to the journey of life and it lives within your heart.” (Willie Nelson)
“Peace is the best journey. Happiness is the best destination.” (Ragu)
This article will be continued next month expounding on INTEGRITY, CURIOSITY, PERSEVERANCE & OPTIMISM.
Brenda M. Jelks-Hutchinson
My journey has been long, and difficult but rewarding with GOD at my side. The struggles and challenges have and are being met with an abundance of His mercy
and grace…SUCCESS IN HIS FAVOR. Amen.