To The Church of My Youth

What did you expect me to do?

You told me to love my neighbors and to model the life of Jesus. To be kind and considerate, and to stand up for the bullied.

You told me to love people and consider others as more important than myself.

You taught me to sing “Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight.”

We sang it together, pressing the volume pedal and leaning our hearts into the chorus. You said that “He loved all the children of the world”.

You told me to love my enemies, to even do good to those who wish for bad things. You told me to never “hate” anyone and to always find ways to encourage people.

You told me it’s better to give than receive, to be last instead of first. To help the poor, the widow, and the stranger at the gate.

You told me that Jesus looks at what I do for the least of as the true depth of my faith. You told me to focus on my own sin and not to judge. You told me to be accepting and forgiving.

So I paid attention.

I took in every lesson.

And I did what you told me.

But now, you call me a libtard. A queer-lover. You call me “woke.” A backslider.

You call me a heretic. You make fun of my heart. You mock the people I’m trying to help.

You say I’m a child of the devil.

You call me soft. A snowflake. A socialist. You shun the very people you told me to help.

What did you expect me to do?

I thought you were serious, but apparently not.

You hate nearly all the people I love. You stand against nearly all the things I stand for. I’m trying to see a way forward, but it’s hard when I survey all the hurt, harm, and darkness that comes in the wake of your beliefs and presence.

What did you expect me to do?

I believed it all the way.

I’m still believing it all the way.

Which leaves me wondering, what happened to you?

(live author unknown).

 

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